Posts Tagged ‘cavs. cleveland cavaliers’

Why you won’t get him, no matter what the media tells you…

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Let’s attack this in order of hype:

Chicago.
You’re a team on the rise. You’ve got the cap room. You’ve got a rich history. And that history is your fatal flaw. MJ may have been the greatest ever, and no man who’s seeking a comparable legacy would want to play under all those championship flags next to the banner bearing his former number… retired.

Miami.
I’m not going to lie. I think that outside of the incumbent, you’ve got the best chance of landing LeBron. However, you’ve also got delusions. Delusions that three of the best players in the league are going to take a paycut to win. Delusions of Bosh being willing to play center. You also have Khloe’ Kardashian. A beast of a man-woman so terrifying, Lamar Odom has to carry a rape whistle.

New Jersey.
You were the worst team last year. Almost the worst team ever. Do you really think that one player, no matter how talented, can turn all that around? Even if you get two marquee players. I still have my doubts.

New York.
You’re not good. Even when you were good, you still weren’t that good. Call it karma. You can’t buy your way to the world series year after year and expect not to be punished during basketball season.

Dallas.
I can’t keep up. First you’re in. Then you’re out. You’re like the Ross Perot of the free agency race. Your squad is almost as old too. They say you’re a dark horse (cute pun). I’d say you’re a unicorn in this race. Ie; nonexistant. PS: I live in Dallas, and If there’s any truth to the rumor that LeBron wants to be in a world-class city, sorry, but you aren’t one. Get your sports stadiums downtown, and we’ll talk.

L.A. (Clippers)
Are you kidding? Do I even have to write this one? Okay… You have a cheap owner who doesn’t want to win. Or sell.